Managing Anger

Préparation

• To encourage honest discussion and learning in a safe environment, this activity should be delivered in single-sex groups; i.e., only to men or only to women. The facilitators should also be of the same sex as the participants in the group (i.e. women facilitators should facilitate activities among groups of women), especially for any sensitive discussions. This activity may be conducted with adolescents and youth, but considerations should be given toward conducting activities with individuals grouped by similar ages. It should be emphasized throughout the curriculum that violence should never be tolerated or accepted. 

• If it would be helpful to your participants, write the main points of the discussion on a piece of flipchart paper placed on the wall or other location where they can see. If not, lead the activity as a discussion only.
• This activity can take place as a discussion and writing activity or just a discussion. If participants will write, have paper and pens/pencils ready for each participant.
• Ask participants to sit in a circle.

Introduction: Know the Warning Signs of Anger

• Tell participants, “In this activity, we will discuss how to manage anger. Everyone feels angry at some point in their life. It is a common emotion and reaction to events in our lives. However, anger can lead to actions that hurt your relationships with other people. In this activity, we will talk about strategies for controlling anger.”
• Tell participants, “One of the first ways to manage anger is to know when you are angry. It is not always easy to know when you are becoming angry.”
• Ask participants, “How do you know if you’re angry or how do you know if someone is angry?” Possible responses include: pounding heart, the voice becomes louder, muscles feel tense, the face becomes red, hands or jaws are clenched, sweaty palms, negative thoughts.
• Tell participants, “When we can sense when we are angry, we can take measures to control our anger before we do or say anything that we would regret later.”

Implementation: Causes of Anger

• Divide participants into small groups. Ask participants to discuss the different reasons people become angry. Let them discuss for a few minutes. If it is helpful, have them write the reasons on a piece of paper.
• After a few minutes of small group discussion, ask each group to share some of the reasons they discuss. Reasons may include: being hungry, being tired, waiting a long time, being disrespected, not feeling appreciated

• Tell participants, “We get angry for many different reasons. Often we become angry as a reaction to other negative emotions, such as feeling: impatient, disrespected, jealous, shame or insecure, hurt or afraid. Sometimes we get angry when things don’t happen as we expect it.”
• Ask participants to think about a recent event when they were angry. Ask participants to think about some of the reasons why they were angry. 
• Tell participants, “when can better understand what causes our anger, we are better able to control our anger rather than have our anger control us.”

Implementation: Breathing to Calm Down

• Ask participants to share their ideas for different ways that can help us to manage anger. Take different responses. 
• Tell participants, “Thank you for sharing those strategies. As we can see there are many different ways that can help us to manage anger. One way is by taking deep and slow breaths. This type of breathing can help you calm down.”
• Ask participants to close their eyes and to slowly breathe in through the nose while counting 1 to 4. Then breathe out through the mouth while counting 1 to 4. Ask participants to do this type of breathing for a minute.
• After one minute of slow breathing, ask participants to open their eyes. Ask them how they feel. Possible responses include: calmer, more relaxed.
• Tell participants, “Taking a breath does more than helping us calm down. It gives us time to think and consider the best way to respond to an upsetting situation.”

Implementation: Strategies to Control Anger in the Moment

• Divide participants into small groups. Ask participants to discuss other ways to control anger.
• After a few minutes of small group discussion, ask each group to share some of the strategies they discussed. 

• Share the following strategies with participants:
  • “Pause before speaking. If you feel angry, wait before speaking. Sometimes we become angry when we are hurt, and may want to hurt the other person by saying something that we might regret later. If you feel angry, take a few breaths. This can help you cool down.
  • Tell the person how you feel using “I” statements. This helps let the other person know how you are feeling. For example, you can say, “I feel upset when…”
  • Walk away from the situation. If you feel that you are unable to control your anger, walk away from the person you are having a conflict with. You can return when you feel calmer.
  • Avoid or limit drugs and alcohol. Drugs and alcohol can make it more difficult to control anger.”
• Ask participants if they think they can use these strategies in their daily life.

Closing

Tell participants, “we have the power to control our anger, even when it feels like we can’t. The next time you have a conflict with someone, practice these strategies to control your anger. The more you practice, the easier it will become. By controlling anger, we can have more positive relationships with family and friends and also improve our health.

Thank participants for their participation.