Listening Pairs

Preparation

• This activity can be conducted with groups of women and groups of men; however, it should be led in single-sex groups except when facilitators feel otherwise. The facilitators should also be of the same sex as the participants in the group (i.e. women facilitators should facilitate activities among groups of women), especially for any sensitive discussions. This activity may be conducted with adolescents and youth, but considerations should be given toward conducting activities with individuals grouped by similar ages. It should be emphasized throughout the curriculum that violence should never be tolerated or accepted. The facilitators should also be of the same sex as the participants in the group (i.e. women facilitators should facilitate activities among groups of women), especially for any sensitive discussions. This activity may be conducted with adolescents and youth, but considerations should be given toward conducting activities with individuals grouped by similar ages. It should be emphasized throughout the curriculum that violence should never be tolerated or accepted. 
• This activity should take place in a quiet place.
• Divide participants into pairs.

Introduction

Tell participants, “In this activity, we will practice listening, an important skill in communication.”

Role Play 1

• Tell participants:

• “Turn to your partner.”
• “One person should start describing what they did this week. The other person needs to listen carefully without speaking. The person speaking should prepare to speak for a few minutes without interruption.”

• Start the activity. After two minutes, pause the activity. Tell participants:

• “Now, the people talking now will continue speaking.”
• “Those who are listening should stop listening and look distracted. For example, yawn, look elsewhere, turn around, whistle.”

• Start the activity again and let participants who are speaking talk for another two minutes.
• Stop the activity and ask participants to switch roles. The speaker will talk for two minutes while the listener listens attentively. Then after two minutes, the listener should stop listening and look distracted.

Discussion

Ask participants the following questions. Allow discussion after each question.

• “As speakers, how did it feel to speak to someone who was listening versus someone who was not listening?”
• “As listeners, how did it feel to be a good listener? How did it feel to be a bad listener?”
• “Imagine if you had a problem and were feeling bad about something. What kind of listener would you want in that situation? How should the person behave?” Possible responses include: Look at the person who is speaking; nodding or showing that you believe the person; not rushing them; not giving opinions, judgment or advice to the person speaking, being patient, not interrupting, looks at them, encourages to keep talking.) This is also called “active listening.”
• “What are some of the things could a listener do that would make you feel uncomfortable or unsupported? Possible responses include: Interrupting me, changing the subject, minimizing what I have to say, using negative body language (frowning, looking away), judgmental, starts talking about their own problems, distracted by other things.

Ask participants to think about the following questions:

• “Can you think of times when you have been a good listener? A bad listener?”
• “Are there some people that you are a good listener too? Are there some people you could listen to better?”

Briefing on Active Listening

Explain to the group that active listening has four key components. Review the four components and acknowledge the similar ideas that the group just brainstormed within the four components. 

1. Use supportive body language: For example, make eye contact, lean forward, and look interested. 
2. Encourage the speaker to keep talking: For example, nod, make listening noises, and do not interrupt. When needed ask questions to seek clarification. Listen with your eyes and ears (e.g., say ’yes, or ‘uh-huh’, check out body language, tone of voice etc.). 
3. Check-in or Reflect: Tell the person what you heard (paraphrase) to see if it is correct. For example, “It sounds like you are saying….” “What I understand you saying is that…” Like a mirror, “reflect” what you heard back to the speaker. 
4. Show empathy: Put yourself in your partner’s shoes. Imagine how you would feel in that situation. Make a supportive comment to express your empathy. For example, “Sounds like you were really scared” or “Wow, you must be frustrated.” 

 

Role play 2

• Divide participants into new pairs
• Tell participants:

• “Turn to your partner.”
• “One person should start describing what they did this week. The other person should apply the four techniques of active listening we just discussed.”

• Start the activity. After 5 minutes, stop the activity and ask participants to switch roles. 
• Circulate around the room and provide support and feedback (positive and constructive) as needed. 

Discussion

• After everyone has a chance to serve in both roles, ask couples to turn their attention to the front of the room.
• Lead a large group discussion using the following questions:
  • How did everyone find this role-play exercise? Was it difficult or easy to be an active listener? 
  • How did it feel to be heard? How did it feel to practice active listening? 
• Ask participants to raise their hands if they have active listening skills. 
  • Ask how it feels to be a good listener and the benefits they obtain by being a good listener?
  • Responses may include: It helps me to understand and better support my friend/ partners, improves how I feel toward my partner

Closing

Tell participants, “Active listening is important for good communication with the people around us, including family and friends. It can help build stronger relationships. An active listener is “ACTIVE” because they are actively working to understand the message being sent. By effectively communicating and actively listening, men and women can demonstrate support and understand the people that they care about. As a result, their relationships will be strengthened.”