Gender Boxes

Preparation

• • To encourage honest discussion and learning in a safe environment, this activity should be delivered in single-sex groups; i.e., only to men or only to women. The facilitators should also be the same sex as the participants in the group (i.e. women facilitators should facilitate activities among groups of women), especially for any sensitive discussions. This activity may be conducted with adolescents and youth, but considerations should be given toward conducting activities with individuals grouped by similar ages. It should be emphasized throughout the curriculum that violence should never be tolerated or accepted.
  • If it would be helpful to your participants, write the main points of the discussion on two pieces of a flipchart paper (one for act like a woman and one for act like a man) placed on the wall or other visible location.
  • Ask participants to sit in a circle at the start of the activity.

Introduction

• Ask participants if anyone has ever heard someone say “act like a man.” Ask participants if they have ever heard someone say “act like a woman.”
• Tell participants, “In this activity, we will talk about what it means to ‘act like a man’ or ‘act like a woman.’” We will talk about how society expects men and women to behave in specific ways.”

Implementation: Gender Boxes

• • Divide the group into two. Ask the first group to discuss what it means to “act like a man.” Ask the second group to discuss what it means to “act like a woman.” Give examples from the table below if needed.
  • After 10 minutes of discussion, ask the groups to share their discussion. Some examples are below; participants should think of and share more examples that may be relevant in their community. Write the answers on two separate flipchart papers – one for “act like a man” and one for “act like a woman”. Make sure to leave a 4-inch blank border around the perimeter of the flipchart so you can later draw a box around the words.

Examples of what it means to…

Act like a man	Act like a woman
Be strong Be tough Make money for the household Make decisions Be confident Lead	Look beautiful Act soft Take care of children Cook and clean Be passive Follow

• • After the groups have reported on their ideas, explain that the two lists they created contain a lot of expectations about what is considered “normal” for men and what is considered “normal” for women.
  • Sometimes we refer to the limitations these expectations put on a person as a “box”. Draw a box around the edges of both the “Act Like a Women” flipchart and “Act Like a Man” flipchart enclosing all the comments listed on them. Continue by saying that this box often restricts the lives of both men and women.

Implementation: Society’s Expectations

• • Ask participants, “Do you ever feel pressure to act like a [man/woman] and stay inside the gender box?” Ask participants for examples of when they felt pressured to act in these ways.
  • Ask participants, “Where does this pressure come from?” Possible responses include: family, friends, partners, neighbours, teachers, religious texts, newspapers, radio, TV, ourselves. (If available, facilitators can use magazine photos, DVD covers or other materials that show examples of expectations of men and women.) The facilitator should write these on the outside perimeter of the boxes and draw arrows pointing to the boxes, representing the pressure these elements put on men and women to stay inside the box. See the example below.

Act like a man	Act like a woman
Be strong Be tough Make money for the household Make decisions Be confident Lead	Look beautiful Act soft Take care of children Cook and clean Be passive Follow

 

• • Ask participants, “What are the consequences of following the rules and staying inside the boxes?” Ask about consequences at home, at work, in society. Ask how acting like a woman and acting like a man might affect relationships, and whether it might contribute to any inequalities or power differences. Take responses. Ask participants, “What happens if you or other men/women try not to follow those rules and who step out of the box?” Possible responses include: Being criticized or insulted, being excluded, being looked down on.
  • Summarize the responses shared by the group and discuss the following points. Tell participants, “Society often expects men to be strong, make the decisions and to lead. When this happens, society gives men the power to be in charge and in control. For example, men are often the leaders as politicians, lawyers, business leaders, police officers, and professors.” Ask participants if they agree or disagree with that statement. Listen to a few reasons for their agreement or disagreement.
  • Tell participants, “When society gives men the power to lead and be in charge, it takes away power from women. For example, men might earn more money than women. They may control the money in the household. They may make all of the family decisions.” Ask participants if they agree or disagree with that statement. Listen to a few reasons for their agreement or disagreement.
  • Tell participants that throughout their lives, boys and girls, and men and women, receive messages from family, media, and society about how they should act like men or women and how they should relate to each other. These expectations (point to boxes) can create inequalities within a couple. Living in the gender box can have negative consequences such as unhealthy behaviour.
  • Tell participants that even though these boxes may take time to change, they are not static. They are created by the society in which we live and therefore can be changed. All of us can play a role in changing harmful expectations or behaviours that are affecting us all. Ask the group to reflect personally on how many of the “rules” in the gender boxes they already challenge.

Closing

• • Ask the participants, “Why is it important to understand how society expects men and women to behave?” Take some responses. Ask participants: “How might this contribute to violence against women and girls?”.
  • Summarize the discussion by telling participants, “It’s important to understand how society expects men and women to behave. This helps us understand why men have more power than women. Men having more power is the reason why there is violence against women and girls. We will discuss this more in this curriculum.”
  • Ask participants, “How can living outside the gender box benefit individuals and couples?” Take some responses.
  • Summarize the discussion by sharing that, “Living outside the gender box can lead to more flexibility and more freedom for individuals and couples. This can create many benefits for individuals and for couples.”

Thank participants for their time and willingness to discuss.